Transparent Christian Magazine

IT HAS BEEN A FEW MONTHS NOW, but after thirty years of playing music full-time, and after twenty plus years of singing in churches and other venues, I decided it was time to stop. I agonized in prayer and concluded that it was time to set music aside. Being published in 2005 (TO LOVE IS CHRIST, Thomas Nelson), and with another book due June 2010 (AND THEREBY HANGS A TALE, Harvest House), I felt that writing was in center now, gaining favor, and music was, well, consigned to the margins. So, in a manner not unlike a separation, or a farewell to something you love but must let go, I did just that. I let it go.

It was difficult. After seven albums, and thousands of churches and other venues, it was a part of me. All my training and instinct led me to do the music I did, to memorize huge bolts of Scripture and sing the songs I wrote. I was doing worship before worship was cool.

I am fairly good with words, but it is difficult even now to explain what I felt. It would be dishonest to say I wasn’t grieving the decision. I did grieve. But between God and me, it just felt right. I am in my fifties now, and when I look at the musical landscape, it appears at least half my age.

Okay, so on a given day, maybe six months ago, I did it, I gave it up. “God, this is yours. I am grateful. I am confident and content as a writer. You have trained my hands for war, and every day I will sit at my desk and give you my best offering, all the heat and wonder of things you have put in me.”

Two days later, I was in Starbucks with my wife. She works with a PR firm (McCain & Company, Nashville), and she was meeting with a client, John Schlitt, of PETRA. John, by the way, is an incredible guy. He is out again, singing in churches, either solo or with a band. Anyway, however incredible he might have been, I didn’t want to be there. I wasn’t in the mood after giving music up, to sit there and discuss someone’s career. Everyone was smiling and hopeful. I was on another planet.

Hardly ten minutes go by and I see an old friend of mine. Of course, I did, it’s Starbucks. Joe Beck and I met in 1998 at the no-longer-in-business-down-the-tubes Wright Music. We were both working on an album at the time, and the chemistries between us were pleasant and familiar. We became friends right then, but I lived in Atlanta at the time, so it was kind of limited. But my wife always felt Joe and I would someday be working together, in some capacity. Did it make sense at the time? No. We moved to Franklin, TN in 2002. I reconnected with Joe at the time, but eventually lost contact, as happens. When I saw him at Starbucks that day it had been at least two years since I had seen him.

We acknowledged each other, spoke a minute or two, then joined our own parties. Nice. My mood lifted, but still no big deal. He was in a business meeting or something like that at the time. That very night Joe called me and said he was putting a worship band together, would I be interested in being a part of it. To put this in perspective, Joe Beck is a successful Christian songwriter, with 650 cuts, and 65 hit singles. That’s impressive. His first hit was I’M HOLDING OUT HOPE TO YOU, sung by Michael English. He has written for Avalon, Diamond Rio, and countless, seriously, countless others. And here he is asking me if I want to start a band. I hadn’t been in a band in over fifteen years. I had been solo most of my ministry years. I had just put the thing down, and before God. I had the resolve to give it up. So I said, “Of course, I would.”

For the sake of time, let me just say that the group began to come together in rapid time. It now consists of Joe, me, Michael Hill, an incredible Nashville player, and my son, Shad Teems. We have been playing once a month at Woodmont Baptist Chapel in an event we call REFLECTIONS. We have been doing that for six months. Woodmont simply let’s us use their facility. It is not a Woodmont event. It is not about the music industry. It is not about merchandise, or selling anything, including an agenda. It’s not about personality, celebrity or the usual props. It is truly about worship, about comfort, encouragement, and consolation. It is about coming humbly before God, with all our flawed and beautiful humanity.

In the past few weeks we named the group. ANXIOUS HEART. The name reflects the culture and the times. And as of a few days ago, we have our first album. TILL THE SHADOWS BREAK. Wow. That’s fast. But I know it is saturated with God’s blessing. I have watched all the little dominoes fall, and with precision and purpose, none of them misplaced or ill-timed. I have looked back on every possible link that somehow came together in perfect time. And I really did give it up, the thing I had loved so much, and very bounce-like, very boomerang like, God gave it back.

The cool part is, because of that act of surrender, I detached myself from it, from the music. I hope this makes sense to you, but in being removed from it just enough, God was able to give it back to me, on his own terms. It doesn’t own me anymore. And I can PLAY again. That’s what musicians do, isn’t it? Play. What musician says, “Gotta go work now?” No one says to a guitar player, “Hey, where are you working tonight?” The question is “Where are you playing?” I had lost that part of it. I forgot what it was like to play. Inspired play, for sure, but it is still play. And with a group of incredible musicians around me now, I am no longer alone. Nor is the weight all mine. I am truly having the time of my life playing music again, as well as indulging those ministry gifts God has crafted in me over the years. It has provided a platform for my books.

Could I walk away from it tomorrow, from the music? Sure. I already have. But God said, “Now, you can be of some use.” I love that. But he also said this (and this is true for the writing as well). He said, “David, I don’t want you to do something just because you can. I want you do to something you love. It gives me the greatest pleasure for you to do just what you love to do. I put that love in you. You can give it back by being yourself.”

WOW. How sweet is that? To worship God, by being me, a happy fulfilled me.

Anyway, the lesson is surrender, I think. Stepping out of God’s way. An offering that really costs something. I had lost the joy of worship, and the joy of music. God had something better in mind. We’re just getting started, and hey, if we’re large and visible or if we play the neighbor’s garage sale, I don’t really care. I am free. Free. And that was the whole point.

This week we will have an official web site, and a new album available for download. For now, you can take a peak and listen to one of the cuts at: http://www.davidteems.com/anxious_heart.html.