Recently I started a Mixed Martial Class in addition to the Biggest Loser Program that I joined in January. The MMA class is a brand new experience. Taking three years of Tae Kwon Do when I was much younger did NOTHING to prepare me for MMA style fighting. I wear head gear, a mouth piece, shin guards and certain other protective accoutrements and mix it up with some seriously talented fighters.
I have developed a high level of respect for my instructor (Tim) who also teaches both of my children in a Karate class that meets beforehand. Tim owns the gym, and coaches at least one adult class 5 days a week. He’s 128 pounds of chiseled skill, and the other day, I had the opportunity to spar with him. During one sparring session, he kicked me in the chest (I couldn’t block it quick enough)…
…and then he kicked me in the chest again
…and then he kicked me in the chest again
I immediately had this flash of anger and was considering how I could pummel him and leave him in a heap on the floor, (which is next to impossible). He must have noticed… he said one word to me. “Relax”. And then repeated it… “just relax man”. I listened and was able to calm down, back him into a corner and land a shot or two before he slipped away.
There’s a unique camaraderie that develops when you spar with people, and our group has some interesting conversations after class. I mentioned to Tim that I was getting upset during his foot-to-chest fest, and he said “Yes, I noticed… When you get angry in a fight, you lose. Your muscles tense up and you needlessly burn a ton of energy your focus gets out of balance and that’s it… It’s over.”
The truth in his words has been bouncing around my head all week. If I get angry and frustrated with work, family, finances, friends, or myself… the mental energy spent being angry weakens the ability to seek solutions. During this coaching exercise, I was reminded once again that my ability to stay calm during tough situations positively influences my outcome! The Bible mentions Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit (is better) than he who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32 (English Standard Version)
It seems that my best life lessons arrive on the receiving end of some kind of pain. Can you relate??
Love,
Jason
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February 23rd, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Jason, what a great lesson well presented. Yes, I agree, when one gets angry, that person loses. In the past, I had often resorted to anger, mostly as a defense mechanism to protect myself from being hurt as a young man.
Unfortunately, that became a tool too often used as an adult, making life challenging for my family. Finally, one day, I realized that anger was a choice. It took some time, but I finally pretty well banished anger from my problem-solving tool box.
Of course, the next problem was finding something to replace my anger reflex. It took time, but I finally found and adopted a number of positive, life-affirming ways to deal with life’s problems.
God bless. John
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Do you trust him? Obviously I need to trust God more…last night I was in the hospital with my 31 week pregnant wife who was having contractions. The baby hand’t moved in over 8 hours and needless to say we were in ‘pain’. We got to the hospital and the nurse found the heart beat right away and within 10 minutes our son started moving again. Come to find out Shelly was dehydrated and hadn’t provided enough fluids so her body reacted. Finally, at 1:45am we left the hospital for home…the pain was gone for now however the lesson was obvious!
Love ya Brother!
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Man Geno! I feel you on that. Pregnancy is wonderful and scary as heck. Give that girl some water!! Love you guys, keep me posted.
John, every once in awhile I have an anger flair up… but like you I’m learning new skills. Good for you on seeking growth!
Jason
February 24th, 2009 at 2:40 am
You nailed it!
February 25th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Great reflection and accompanying scripture quote. Hadn’t read that one.
peace|dewde
February 27th, 2009 at 4:10 am
yep, I can relate!! Great post, as usual! Keep up the good work, on the magazine and in your weight loss journey!
March 3rd, 2009 at 1:48 am
Well I completely understand the anger. Understand it? Not really but I know it does my body no good and moving on feels so much better.
Psalm 30: [5] For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
And Gene, please have your wife drink tons of water. I KNOW what you went through and a little water and lots of restroom visits are better than the other outcome.
Godspeed,
joni
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 am
I can relate. Nice insight. Thanks.