Transparent Christian Magazine

Every so often, I take a peek at the statistics for Transparent Christian Magazine. The ‘analytics package’ that is installed on the website tells me ‘hits’ or ‘page views’ for the day, where people that read the magazine reside, what articles they like or don’t, how long they hang around once they land on the magazine and how they got there.

I like digging through the Keyword section on the stats page, because I would never be able to guess what words or phrases people typed into a web browser to find the mag. Taken out of context, these phrases seem pretty ridiculous.

1) Girly Magazines (I had a post called “Lost Girly Magazines and the Jesus Bee.” All 12 people that landed on this article stayed less than a minute. Clearly they were not looking for a Christian Magazine!)

2) John Kennedy Antichrist

3) Christian Life Sucks (I felt kinda bad for this person)

4) Jason Elkins Poker (Only in college at the local Indian Reservation, for laundry money… I didn’t think anyone knew about that).

4.5) Shortest Catholic Prayer (It would still be long!)

5) “My Pants Are Unzipped” (Ummm… No commentary needed.)

6) “Sixth Sense” Bruce Willis Realizes He’s Dead (SPOILER!)

7) A Spiritual Bailout

8 ) Anna Christ porno actress (Seems like a good enough name for a porno actress… This person stayed for less than a minute)

9) Band Names With Snow in Them (?)

10) Bench 09 Purple Glasses (??)

11) Brandon Frazier Shooting Victim (My Worship Leader’s Name is Brandon Frazier… This may not be that funny to you… Probably not to him either, but I was really surprised to read it in my stats.)

12) Brandon Frazier Pentecost

13) Can a Child be Taken Away For Living in a Messy House? (Good Lord, I hope not!!)

14) How to Pray for Your Pastor if he Have Bad Habits (Do they have a habit of using poor grammar?)

15) What Cologne do Rockers Wear (”I’m pretty sure they don’t, It’s called sex, sweat and beer.” That is what my friend Cian – a rocker himself- mentioned when I told him about the keywords…)

Happy New Year!
Jason