Transparent Christian Magazine

Storms and the upheaval that come with them have no doubt been in the forefront of the mind of many Americans over the past several months and years. Sales of storm shelters, alarms, weather radios and various paraphernalia have rebounded as a result.

I, too, found myself consumed with a storm of a different kind. Life had been pretty much smooth sailing. The hardest event in my life thus far had been the birth of twin daughters at the time my son was only two. Let’s say that I had been all but sheltered from the storms of life.

But one morning, a call came that changed my life. It was my mother, and she was in a fit of rage towards my father such as I had never heard. After sorting through the details, which took weeks if not months, I realized that my father had confessed something very hurtful which had happened over forty-six years earlier.

My father and mother had their share of disagreements, but this was nothing like before. My father was the godliest person that I had ever known. What could have caused him to suddenly spout out something so hurtful? Why couldn’t my mother realize that this was over forty-six years earlier? A million questions entered my mind.

The subsequent months that followed became my worst nightmare. My mother was diagnosed with what proved to be a terminal lung disease. My father began to show signs of dementia. Both became unable to drive. As a result, I had to devote lots of time and attention to their care in addition to what I felt was already an overloaded schedule. As a result of my mother’s illness, she was prescribed medication that caused constant mood swings. This resulted in a roller coaster of emotions which seemed to peak every three days, and I often found myself right in the middle of the aftermath.

I began to ask all of the usual questions of why. Then I moved to begging “please make this stop.” But the storm raged for a tough two and a half years with little relief and really did not end until five years later.

But, oh what lessons I learned during the storm! On days when I was sure that I could not bear one more day, God would show himself, often in small but significant ways. I began to cling to Him for my very sanity. And I began to hear over and over, “Who is this man, that even the winds and waves obey him?” (Luke 8:25 New Living Translation) At the very moment when I felt that I could not endure one more second of the storm, He always reminded me that He was there. I had never clung to Him so tightly, even though He had always held me in the palm of His hand ……. And that is when I began to embrace the storm. My God and my Christ had never been so personal to me. What beauty had come from this storm!

The storm finally came to a slow end. Some of the whys were answered but not all. Forgiveness came. Confession came. Peace finally came. Both my parents have found eternal peace on that heavenly shore.

I do not miss the winds and waves, but I do miss the way that they made me cling to Him; however, I don’t think that I will ever loosen my embrace quite to the point it was before. I know that other storms will come. I pray that next time I will remember to embrace the storm, because it is then that we most clearly see the Master of the storm.