A couple of months ago my husband Zale and I were cleaning out the bonus room because we were converting it to his home office. I found something I wrote shortly after 9/11 and I hadn’t read it in a very long time.
So many times God is doing something huge in our lives but we don’t realize what it is until later, this was one of those times for me. As I read what I wrote almost 8 years ago I realize now that God was preparing me for a huge gift and a huge change in my life. He was preparing to give me the deepest desires of my heart.
When I wrote this story, I was in a relationship with a married man. I didn’t know it at the time, but God was working on reconciling this man’s relationship and leading me to Zale at the same time.
God took me on an amazing journey that truly transformed my life. He can do amazing things in us and through us if we’ll just let Him take over. Letting go, and letting God have that control was the best decision I ever made!
Written September 14, 2001
I’m not sure why, but I feel the urge to write. Inside I feel excitement, almost like a child, the night before Christmas; as though I’m soon going to receive the most wonderful gift I have ever, or will ever receive. I feel so filled with joy and I’m not sure why.
Wait a minute, yes I am. I’m filled with joy because I’ve given my life to the Lord… Surrendered it all. Put every bit of faith I have in God. I have no idea what my future will hold, but I am no longer afraid. It is in God’s control, not mine. And God is such a good God! I know that as long as it is in his hands, I can’t lose! A feeling like this is so amazing. It’s as if my eyes are finally being opened to how truly awesome God is. It’s a feeling that I wish I could give to everyone I know. But I’m afraid they have to come by it the same way I did.
I have to smile, because the outside world, even the one that I am a part of, is almost a complete disaster. But yet I’m filled with peace. I’m able to look outside and enjoy God’s beauty. I’m able to say that no matter what happens, All Is Well! God loves me. He has forgiven me for any wrongdoing. He gave me multiple second chances, always loving me unconditionally. What a great example for us! God is good, All the time!
Callie
Editor’s Note:
For some great insight and a more detailed description of this time in her life, please read “the rest of the story” here on Callie’s Blog.
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July 9th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Callie,
Thanks for writing something SO honest. Your Transparency is refreshing, and I love the work you have done in your life. Truly a God thing eh?
Love the Dowlens!
Jason
July 16th, 2008 at 12:51 am
Yep, it’s all a God thing!! Thank you for sharing my story. The main thing I want people to know, from personal experience, is that there’s nothing God can’t or won’t forgive. It’s never too late to find out how awesome your life can become if God is in control of it! We appreciate your friendship too!!!
Callie
July 16th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Callie, your preface says so much the same thing that has been going through my mind;
“So many times God is doing something huge in our lives but we don’t realize what it is until later,”
It’s almost the very words, themselves, that I have bouncing around in my head. God is so much bigger than we are, so provisional, so attentive and loving and protective… Yet I all too often contemplate as to WHY God is doing or allowing something to happen, rather than (as David said in the Psalm 77 and many others) “Remember your works of old”.
I want to thank you for sharing my thoughts!
God Bless
Tom
July 16th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Tom,
Thank you so much for your comments. That scripture is an awesome reminder we should all probably remember more often. I appreciate you adding your thoughts and I’m sure they will bless all who reads them!
In Him,
Callie