My kids get really excited on Father’s day, and show up on my bed in the morning yelling “Happy Father’s Day Dad!” In their arms they are holding some new cologne, shaving cream and a couple of homemade cards. I just bask in their love on this annual celebration.
Being a father is hard work, and in light of Shelli’s surgeries and ongoing high levels of back pain; I have been forced to develop a sort of a heightened parental groove which includes spending lots of time at home. We play games, talk, and listen to music, swim, wrestle, play the “finger of death game”, (I made up the game and the rules!) and just hang together. It’s strange for me to think of my wife being my best friend, and my kids being my favorite people. This is admittedly, a new development.
From time to time, I slip out of the house to go hear some live music to help recharge my soul. Sometimes I just slide out to be alone for an hour…But I can’t stand being away too long.
My heart aches when I think about Kianna (10 years) and Logan (8 years) getting older and moving out. I’ve joked with them that they can never leave, because I like being around them. My friends with teenage children tell me “you will want them to move out! TRUST ME!” But right now, I need them, maybe even more than they need me!
One of their recent requests has me baffled. When they are getting ready for bed, they will ask to wear my undershirt. It’s the white t-shirt that I wear under my dress shirts at work. I’ve had it on all day. It’s not a sweaty mess, I work in an air conditioned office–and I’m a bit of a hygiene freak; salt crystal deodorant, natural shaving cream, plenty of wonderful soap in the shower and a healthy dose of Father’s-Day-cologne for the workday.
Shelli has offered a bit of perspective. She told me that she can remember wanting to lay her head on her dad’s chest and breathe his “aura”. Apparently he didn’t wear cologne, but he had a particular ‘soap smell’ that was very comforting.
So, every night, I tear off my undershirt, and throw it to Kianna or Logan, mindful of who got to wear it the night before, as not to start any fights!…It hangs down to their knees, and looks pretty ridiculous, but I grin every time I see them wearing it…and they grin back.
Love,
Jason
Editors Note:
Recently, my friend Tom Whiteman, the owner of Gospel Music Roundup asked me if I would contribute something to his Father’s Day Podcast Show. I humbly submitted some writing, which he digitized so eloquently. Click on the play button below to listen to some thoughts on my my father, and my legacy.
[audio http://gospelmusicroundup.org/Media/JASONLetter.mp3]
For more information on Tom Whiteman and Gospel Music Roundup, click here!
June 18th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Jason,
Thanks for this peak into your life and thoughts! I do hope shelli’s pain is reduced soon, but take no second thoughts about spending the time that you ARE spending with them. As I grow old(er) the memories of my father fade just a little more. Not that he is “gone”, but my childhood is.
Hearing the stories of you and your kids brings my own memories back up-to-date, and keeps me so much younger again.
Think of all the wonderful memories we have yet to encounter with our heavenly Father, God, with all the preparations He is making for us to live with Him eternally!
Love ya
Tom
July 13th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Jason, your story touched my heart. My children do a similar thing. They all sleep in their Daddy’s t-shirts. My oldest turns 13 in nine days, and the t-shirt fit more like t-shirts then night shirts (sniff, sniff!) At least I still have my 3 year old with the neck sagging off her shoulder, and down to her ankles. It is a picture that is indelibly stamped in my memory for life! ~~Michelle Rocker