Transparent Christian Magazine

I’ve been wrestling a lot lately with what I want, what God wants, and where I am.

Let me explain…

WHAT I WANT:

My wants and desires are pretty selfish – they all revolve around me, how I deserve “this or that” and how I need the people around me to change – to suit me. It’s all pretty much a sick ’selfish fest’ where the theme song is “Me, Me, Me”.

As I look in the Bible the “I want or need” mentality is what got Adam and Eve in trouble, caused David to sin with Bathsheba, and Jonah to be swallowed by a whale. It seems going in the direction of the ME only leads to trouble.

WHAT GOD WANTS:

Honestly, sometimes I just don’t know – and then sometimes I do know but wish I didn’t. I am sure God ultimately wants my best, I just don’t like what it takes to get there. If I look to The Bible I can see many examples of what God wants, I’ve listed a few of them here:

God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in
Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever He will do next. Romans 15:3

God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can. 1 Corinthians 12:1

God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. Ephesians 4:14

God wants you to live a pure life. 1 Thessalonians 4:1

This doesn’t even take into account all the places in the bible where he just instructs us to “be blameless”, “forgive one another”, “live a life worthy of the call” – the list goes on. God had a “life plan” for us before that became a buzz word. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us: For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

The key to this is our obedience – which leads me back to the struggle of the “What I wants”.

WHERE I AM:

This one is harder to admit to, because I have to be more transparent than I would really care to be. I’m somewhere in between the “I wants” and the “God wants” place. Romans 7:14-16 says: So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. That would be a good summary of “Where I am”. I SO want what God wants for my life and yet I find myself wanting what I want more! Where I am is real – it’s life – you might even relate.

I’m thankful that Paul wrote those words in the book of Romans – it gives me a sense of comfort to know that even he struggled with these issues.

WHAT I AM LEARNING:

That I don’t have to have it all together today. That my struggle is a spiritual one – one I will battle my whole lifetime. If I keep my life in the Word of God, and my heart exposed to Him, I can hear “what God wants” a lot louder than “what I want”. I just have to turn down the volume of ME so I can hear HIM!

Andrea

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Andrea C. Parker, is a gifted songwriter and Indie artist, who shares her heart and testimony through her songs and her unique voice. Andrea has always been a singer; even as a child her mother would showcase her daughter at local restaurants and nursing homes. As a writer of poetry and short stories, Andrea realized as a teenager that her writing could be so much more. She combined her two great loves - writing and music and began her career as a songwriter.

She met her husband Edwin, a jazz musician, in NYC. There they wrote songs for several recordings with Times Square Church. Together they have written numerous songs and church musicals. They have been married for over ten years and have been blessed with two children. God continues to give them opportunities to minister together.

Andrea is now booking dates to minister in music for 2008. She is available for special music opportunities, praise and worship leading, coffeehouses, retreats, and special events.

Contact Andrea through her Indieheaven profile.