Once upon a time there was a brother and sister with calm dispositions and ready smiles, but not many friends. Being new to town, they sought out a church they could call home, and one day they found one…
They loved the preaching, the Sunday school lessons, the Bible studies; in short, they were drawn to the entire worship experience. And they anticipated that it wouldn’t be long before they would become friends with other members of their Sunday school class.
Now, it happened that over a number of weeks they were dismayed by the fact that no one really spoke to them. They felt as if they were an inactive part of an active Sunday school class. It wasn’t as if they were invisible; to the contrary, they often found themselves unnerved by one guy that kept looking at them. He didn’t speak, just looked. Looked at them entering the room. Looked at them sitting down. Looked at them before, during, and after the lesson.
“You know, that guy keeps getting on my nerves,” the sister would say. “Yeah, he does. He walks by us and doesn’t even say Hi,” the brother agreed. “It’s like he doesn’t want us here,” the sister responded. This went on for two months. Finally, the brother and sister left one Sunday and never returned.
Well! I wonder if, after reading this story, you agree with me that the “snooty” fellow in the Sunday school class was to blame for pushing folks out of the church. Or, maybe you think that he wasn’t totally to blame, but perhaps he contributed to it by failing to recognize that in God’s house, it’s God’s rules, and everyone is welcome? Would you have a word with him if you had the chance?
Well… I have. I see that guy every time I look in the mirror. I am not perfect and I often fall short of making others feel welcome. Due to my introvertness, I still have to work on this. But little things like sitting next to new folks or sharing a smile can go a long way. So the words I’ve had with myself?
1. Befriend new people. Remember that in your church home, you are comfortable and in a place of safety. New folks don’t always feel that way. Make it your job to welcome newcomers.
2. Do not let shyness be an excuse. Extend your hand of friendship, not your stares. Push down your own fears of meeting new people - you’ll be delighted by the new friends you will make!
Though it has been several years since these events (yep, it’s actually a true story), I still pray these two found some loving and caring people in a body of Christ. As members of the body of Christ, we ALL need to get out of our comfort zone to make new people feel welcome… It is time we stop hiding behind the labels of “shyness” and “fear” and befriend anyone we see walking into a place of worship!
Which way will your hand push others….in or out?
Burt Empson works in information technology for a national Christian book distributor. Burt loves running, and runs several marathon’s per year. Although shy, he’s got a calming ability that he transfers to those who take the time to get to know him. He volunteers for the audio ministry at his church.
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