Transparent Christian Magazine

I often wonder what went through the minds of some of the people in the Bible. Maybe I am just strange for even wondering. The perspective we have is mostly from a narration point of view – which is great- but don’t you ever wonder what they were THINKING?

I mean - what was Moses thinking right before he raised his staff to part the Red Sea ? Did he wonder “ Will this work?” or “I left sheep farming for this?” “I wonder how many of us can swim?”

Or, how about David right before he threw the stone that hit Goliath – what was going through his mind? “Wow God did you see the shoes on this guy?” or maybe “Was I suppose to throw all FIVE stones at the same time?” “Why didn’t my brothers just order out for pizza?”

I often think of Peter and the time of the storm, when he saw Jesus walking on the water. Right after he says “Lord, if it’s you – tell me to come on the water” and Jesus says “Come”. (Matthew 14:22-32) I wonder what went through Peter’s mind the moments right after that. I wonder if he thought things like: “Uh-oh, now what?” “Did I just say that?” “I’ve got to be dreaming.”

I also wonder if he had doubts in those moments, if he turned and looked to his friends in the boat – or if he just stepped right out. I have to believe since he was as human as we are that he wondered what people would think, and if it would work, and what if it didn’t. I’m sure he was as much surprised as everyone else when those few steps really were ON the water. I cannot even imagine witnessing that miracle – let alone being the one experiencing it!! Never in Peter’s wildest dreams had he thought the water that he worked in day after day – would be something he would walk ON TOP OF. But he did. And yes it was just for a few moments – but Peter did it.

I’ve been struggling this week with that walking part. I have seen God time and time again do amazing and miraculous things. But when it comes to me – I doubt – I wonder – I question – a lot. When I get down to the honest part of it – it’s not that I really doubt God – it’s more that I doubt myself. My lack of faith is not in HIM – but in me. Because I know I have failed, have fallen, and just plain screwed-up, and I know that though my words may be big – my actions sometimes are not. So I wonder.

That wonder paralyzes me. Has that ever happened to you? You are on the brink of something new, or maybe something you have always wanted, or something you’ve always dreamed – and you freeze. Frozen in fear – fear of the unknown, fear of the “what ifs”, fear of the failing (one more time). It’s as if my foot hangs on the outside of the boat, and yet not touching the water – paralyzed.

The problem with that is that we never move on – or we miss that opportunity that is before us. The opportunity that God put in front of us – because He knew we were ready – we can do it. What would have happened if Moses hadn’t raised his staff to part the Red Sea ? Or if David had ran back to the brook to find a bigger stone, or what if Peter had stayed in the boat. Those opportunities that God put before them were character building moments in their lives – those acts of obedience to God molded and shaped the men that God knew He was making.

Moses had to first part the Red Sea before he could be entrusted with the Ten Commandments. David had to kill a giant with a small stone before he could rule a nation, and Peter had to step out of boat before he could lead three thousand plus people to the Lord at Pentecost.

Sure we have doubts, fears, questions, and anxiety – and that’s OK – I believe those guys did too. But those things didn’t stop them from doing what God asked of them. The courage they found in their situation came from God Himself, not anywhere inside them.

So what have I learned? That when God brings us opportunities for “character building moments” – that he also brings us the strength, the courage, and the wisdom to handle it all.

There is no reason to fear – for my God is near.

Andrea C. Parker

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

---

Andrea C. Parker, is a gifted songwriter and Indie artist, who shares her heart and testimony through her songs and her unique voice. Andrea has always been a singer; even as a child her mother would showcase her daughter at local restaurants and nursing homes. As a writer of poetry and short stories, Andrea realized as a teenager that her writing could be so much more. She combined her two great loves - writing and music and began her career as a songwriter.

She met her husband Edwin, a jazz musician, in NYC. There they wrote songs for several recordings with Times Square Church. Together they have written numerous songs and church musicals. They have been married for over ten years and have been blessed with two children. God continues to give them opportunities to minister together.

Andrea is now booking dates to minister in music for 2008. She is available for special music opportunities, praise and worship leading, coffeehouses, retreats, and special events.

Contact Andrea through her Indieheaven profile.