Transparent Christian Magazine

My house is a mess. (I’m being transparent!). As I sit here and write this, the living room floor needs vacuuming, there’s a load of clean dishes in the dishwasher, a load of dirty dishes in the sink, 3 loads of clothes that are clean and need folding (on the floor of the laundry room) and my bedroom should have police tape over the door.

You may be thinking “why is he not cleaning it all up right now?” The fact is that I have. I usually go on a cleaning blitz once ever 10 days or so, when the mess just totally overwhelms me.

You see, I never really HAD to keep the house clean. My wife took care of most of that…And before you start thinking I’m a sexist Christian traditionalist, I should mention that I changed LOTS of diapers, never complain about hanging out with our children, and I also cook breakfast and help with the morning routine! My wife Shelli is a “domestic engineer” or a “stay at home mom” (however she doesn’t stay at home much). And up until the last year or so, she pretty much kept on top of the household. Her back started really hurting about a year and a half ago, and after a half dozen epidural shots, more drugs then she cares to discuss, 1 failed surgery and 2 additional surgeries in December of last year, we’re hopeful that she’ll be making a pseudo-full recovery. Her doctor said that you never “fully” recover from back surgery, but we are both praying for a future with less pain.

Currently, she is on some pretty significant restrictions.

Don’t lift over 5 pounds…a skillet of food is more than that…
Don’t bend over…try doing laundry without bending…
Don’t reach too far…can’t pull a ceiling fan chain or sweep much, or scrub anything…

So, I’m the default cleaner.

My kids have learned to start pitching in more, and have actually been a big help in this area. Our house is small and we don’t quite have a place for everything, so it’s been difficult to stay on top of it all. I have learned to focus on what is REALLY important, and make sure my 1o year old daughter, and 8 year old son get the attention they need. I pray for us a ton, try to help Shelli’s mood stay high with encouragement and try to make sure we do fun things together. I also work on the magazine ministry (which has been an amazing outlet and blessing to me) and sometimes the dishes build up, the laundry multiplies, and the clutter starts to close in on me.

There are two situations where this really bothers me. One is that I can’t find what I need in a short period of time. The kids and I play a game where we pretend to switch rolls with each other. We all enjoy this fun exercise, and it’s a great way for the kids to hear what they sound like to mom and dad, and us parents get to understand what we sound like to the kids. When the kids are playing dad, they say things like “Where are my keys!!?? Has anyone seen my phone???”

The other time I’m bothered is when someone stops by, and the house is destroyed. I feel like a failure, I feel frustrated, judged, and find myself trying to explain the situation to everyone. This is a big contradiction, because we love having friends over.

When I get really down about the house, I try to remind myself of a place that I used to visit in college…I had a friend that dropped out of school, and moved off campus. He was living with a co-worker’s family that was kind enough to take him in. The family that lived there had 4 kids ranging in age from 5 to 15, two girls and two boys. The mom and dad kind of adopted me, and they would make us elaborate home-cooked meals (beat the heck out of college cafeteria food) and would let me get a moment of peace at their off-the-beaten-path home.

Talk about a MESSY HOUSE. There was one winding pathway through the living room with stacks of newspapers, magazines, clothes, jackets, shoes, this and thats, and kids toys lining the floor and walls. The bedrooms had clothes and toys everywhere, and mom and dad’s room was off limits…partly because you had to turn sideways to fit through the doorway.

They were a CLOSE family. These people LOVED each other. They played board games, cards and did outdoor activities as an entire family, ALL the time! I loved being around them, and it was where I recharged my batteries when I was in college.

Maybe I had that experience back then, to be able to appreciate/tolerate this experience now. Funny how God works things out like that.

So, if you come over, just understand that I would prefer that my house was as clean as yours. You might trip over a random croc, lose your keys (they’re probably right next to mine) but you will also receive a shot of love, a slice of peace and a pinch of happiness that you can take with you when you leave. Thank God for Mr. and Mrs. Cook, and the great lesson all those years ago.

Love ya,

Jason

Jason@TransparentYou.com
Transparent Christian Magazine