Do you listen to your ‘gut’? I should have tonight.
I didn’t want to go out. I don’t like bars, never have really, even in college-even when I was DJ’ing, even when I drank alot.
“Come on Jason, don’t flake out on me and cancel or anything!”
I’m 36, and should be way beyond peer pressure..
“I’m paying for a babysitter that will be at your house tonight. It’s two teenagers from the church! You and Shelli don’t get out much and it’s time to go have some fun”.
That’s true, we don’t get out much. My wife had back surgery, and there is some significant recovery time involved, it’s almost impossible for me to just keep up with laundry, dishes, yard work (forget that) dusting and vacuuming (haven’t done that in awhile now that I think about it). So, “going out” doesn’t land at the top of the list very often. Plus, I’m kind-of a homebody. I am happiest with my wife and kids, or some friends over watching a movie, playing a game, playing or listening to someone play music…The only exception to this rule is a trip somewhere (like a min-vacation) or a night of live music…(MUST be a smaller venue–no stadium shows for this purist!)
“I’ll be at your house at 8, I know you have a friend in town, so bring him too.”
She’s a wonderful person. Helpful, supportive, caring and seems to show up when I really need someone. Sometimes that “showing up” is paying for a babysitter. Sometimes it’s just a phone call or some advice. We pray together, and allow the other one to vent when needed, and I certainly didn’t want to let her down by changing plans.
Tonight though, I really wanted to just hang with my out-of-town friend. I Hadn’t seen him in a couple of years, and he is one of 2 people that helped me move from Michigan…He drove 
my 1994 Cavalier car -in the summer-without air conditioning, (that I bought in 2004 for $200) jam-packed full of my stuff…My wife and I drove our other car, and my other friend drove the moving truck.
A year later he moved to Knoxville and eventually to Phoenix Arizona. He’s been an incredibly supportive, helpful, spiritual check/balance, friend. Loves my wife, and treats my kids like they are made of gold. Priceless.
So I went out…And after a few hours, when these two friends started arguing, I was instantly mad at myself. I kept thinking “Why didn’t you listen to your inner voice and say –NO I just want to be home tonight??” It wasn’t just any argument. It was the type of –train wreck–argument where the escalation happens so fast there’s no time to throw in the ‘decompression statement’…I was intently listening for ANY hint of an opening where I could slip in “ok y’all, that’s enough” or “wow, look at the time” or “ok people, kiss and make up hahaha heee um hmmm” or “so, have you heard the one about the 2 soon-to-be-arguing-people-that-walk-into-a-bar?”. The components of an argument can be a mixed bag of past hurts, current anxieties, and often misunderstandings…That was certainly the case here as well. Throw in a little alcohol, fatigue, cramped quarters, a pinch of judgment, and some ‘missing-home-angst’ and you have a powder keg.
The night ended with some yelling, some serious allegations, a person considering filing charges…lots of swearing and name calling and two individuals telling me separately that I need to get some new friends. As another friend was taking me home, he saw the tears streaming down my face. He looked over and said “you alright man? Kind of one of those ‘how did I end up here moments eh?’ ”
The tears weren’t because I didn’t know how I ended up here. The frustration came from knowing EXACTLY how I ended up ‘here’.
I didn’t listen to my Gut.
I didn’t listen to my Voice…
I didn’t listen to my God.
My relationship with my friends will be fine. I care about them, they care about me. The lesson for me, is in recognizing that the inner voice (intuition) is a God given gift. I’ve noticed when I don’t follow that voice, (so in essence don’t listen to God) I get into some less than desirable situations…What about you?
So, grab your favorite board game, movie or guitar and I’ll see you at your house or mine next weekend!
Love ya,
Jason
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January 15th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Jason,
I agree! How often do we hear the voice of our master softly guiding us; that still, small voice who empowers us with strength and conviction when we lean on Him, only to yield to the urging of people around us! It doesn’t matter if it’s our friends (tough one to say no to), or our spouses (tougher yet!), we go against our better judgment in the interest of keeping others happy.
It’s so hard to say no to the people who ask of our time, and even harder to explain WHY you’re saying NO. Maybe we are afraid they won’t honor or understand such a seemingly benign reason as “I just don’t feel it’s the right thing to do” or we’ll be accused of being a “stick in the mud”.
Christ did not say, “Go to the bars or restaurants or clubs or parties, and I will give you rest.” He said “Come to ME, all who are weary laden”. In Him is life more abundant, the Light of the world, and the Prince of peace. If we get to the point where friends are telling us we “need a night out”, then maybe we’ve become somewhat unplugged from the power source, and anyone who has Vacuumed knows what happens when you try to go too far away from the outlet! I know, you said you hadn’t vacuumed in a while, but the analogy was there for the grabbing…
When our focus is taken off of Christ, He is no longer center of our lives. It’s a difficult process at times, but if we truly allow Him to reside in the very core of our being, not replacing or displacing Him with trivialities, then the Spirit becomes our gyroscope, guiding us in the right directions.
Thank you so much for sharing! Again, you’ve been a blessing to me.
In Service of the King,
Tom
January 15th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Jason hits the mark with a very strong, descriptive overview of his weekend last experienced. Would I have given anything to have missed the “Train Wreck”? Yes. Was it a beneficial experience in cultures that we all xperienced? No.
We had an opportunity for Fellowship.
fel·low·ship· (fel′ō s̸hip′)
a mutual sharing, as of experience, activity, interest, etc.
We truly missed the mark by the standard definition, but hopefully we each learned that all of us are broken, seperate, and challenged. God and his countepart have us all on different paths at different times. Understanding and compassion lost, but aren’t lost. Common sense and good judgement lost, but aren’t lost.
With work, we can all agree………………………..On something.
Time to go to work.
January 16th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Hi Jason,sorry you suffered,but I have had the opposite problem,happy to stay home full stop.But there is hope,I am going with a friend to a mens conference soon,so we will see.By the way,did you get an invite from My Blog Log? I’m on it and you can build up a community by putting your magazine on their pages.
http://www.mybloglog.com/buzz/members/verseode/ Have a look. God Bless,Mike.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Mike,
I’m checking out MyBlogLog…Looks cool! Thanks for your comments, and Thanks Tom and Tim for contributing here. Life is one lesson after another. I’m glad we have an opportunity to share them with each other.
Blessings,
Jason
January 22nd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I hear ya bro! You know it is often when we hear that voice, that we immediately say “Is that God telling me “no” or just me being paranoid”…
Sometimes it is tough to say… maybe you had to go because you had to write this blog in order to minister to someone…maybe even the two friends that argued… The key IMHO is to not over think things. Let God be God…not going would not eliminate the built up frustrations that came out… it would have likely just prolonged the build up. Now maybe healing can begin for all involved.
February 8th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Tell me more about your other friend who drove the moving truck, he sounds interesting! HA!
Excellent point to the story man!
God gives us GREAT instincts, I just need to listen.
I love you brother!